


Superbowl - Lady Gaga vs Castiel

by DestielWS



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accidental wetting, Also my shitty attempt at, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Domestic, Alternate Universe - Human, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Awkward Blow Jobs, Awkward Sexual Situations, Castiel basically just really sucks at blowing people, Closeted Castiel, Closeted Character, Closeted Dean, Crying Castiel, Embarrassed Castiel, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Meetings, First Time Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Sexual Inexperience, Super Bowl, Wetting, safe sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 12:47:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9608192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielWS/pseuds/DestielWS
Summary: Gabriel is a football addict. Castiel is not. Gabriel gets invited to a Super Bowl watch party by an acquaintance and forces Cas to come along with him. Cas stays in the bedroom on his laptop working on a project for work the next day. The host of the party - Dean - is more than generous and sociable though and talks to him some, but eventually comes on to him. Cas politely denies him and goes back to working, but when he accidentally falls asleep and wakes up desperate to use the bathroom, his brother whisks him away and forces him to watch the entirety of halftime. But, everything Cas had drank that evening, didn't have the patience for halftime - rendering Castiel a sobbing, wet mess in a hallway and Dean the one to calm him down.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I hate football and most recreational sports, but I think the fact I stayed up all day to work on this should be deemed a recreational sport. Intense, all night porn writing.

“Gabriel, I don’t want to go!” Castiel groaned, pulling out from his brother’s arm. 

 

“Come on. It’s once a year,” he argued. 

 

“Yeah, and I have a work presentation to finish by Monday,” Cas stated. “AKA tomorrow.” 

 

“Just do it later. I want you to have a little fun,” Gabriel whined. 

 

“I’ll have fun after I get this promotion,” Cas argued. 

 

“You need to socialize more. You’re never going to get a girlfriend if you don’t start meeting people,” Gabriel said. 

 

“And I want a successful career. I don’t care about getting a girlfriend,” Cas stated. “I’ll worry about a girlfriend after I have a stable six-digit income.” 

 

“It’s one night, Cas,” Gabriel prodded. “Pleeeeeeease. I don’t want to be alone.” 

 

Castiel narrowed his eyes at his brother and sighed in contempt. “Fine. But I’m bringing my laptop and going to sit somewhere quiet and work on my presentation.” 

 

“We’ll see about that. You’ll have a good time. I promise!” Gabriel cheered. “Go get dressed. I’m gonna get my team swag on.” 

 

“I hate that word,” Cas grumbled, sitting down on his bed and looking down at his clothes. “Good enough.” 

* * *

“I can’t even look at you,” Cas stated as they pulled up onto the curb of a neighborhood. “You look idiotic.”

 

“It’s called team spirit, Cassie,” Gabriel argued, shutting the car off and getting out. 

 

Castiel followed him across the long line of cars and up to the front door of a house. “I can’t believe we’re related.”

 

“If you weren’t such a hard-ass, you’d be just like me, I’m sure,” Gabriel replied, checking his reflection in the see-through pane of the front door and admiring his hair, slicked back with red gel. That, along with his face painted half red and half black.

 

“I don’t think that’s possible at all, really,” Cas said, reaching over and knocking on the door. 

 

“It’s unlocked!” someone yelled from inside. 

 

Gabriel turned the handle and they began walking in, seeing a large group of people all huddled up around the TV, sitting on couches and chairs, some standing. Gabriel went right in and took a seat and Cas stood there for a moment, fidgeting with the strap of his laptop bag. 

 

No one noticed him, so he ducked into the hallway and began looking into the rooms. One was just a closet, the other was the bathroom, and at the end of the hallway was a large bedroom. Cas went in and sat on the bed and took out his laptop to begin working. 

* * *

“Not a football fan?”

 

Cas jumped up, startled, and looked at the man in the doorway. 

 

“Scare you?” he asked. 

 

“A little,” Cas replied. “I was real deep in focus there.” 

 

The man in the doorway walked forward and approached him sticking out his hand. “Dean. I own this place.” 

 

“Oh, hi. Your interior decorating skills are quite nice,” Cas said, shaking his hand. 

 

“Thanks?” Dean laughed. 

 

“And no, I don’t like football. Or parties. Or people really. I don’t get them,” Cas replied. 

 

“So you decided to come to a Super Bowl party and play Minecraft the whole time?” Dean chuckled. 

 

“It’s not Minecraft,” Castiel stated. “It’s a presentation. I’m trying to get this promotion, so I need to make sure my presentation tomorrow is quite impactful?” 

 

“What’s it on?” Dean asked, sitting next to him. 

 

“It’s mainly analyzing our sales and profit rates and explaining why we made less than last year, what changed in our target demographic, what we’re doing right, and what we should implement and/or improve to get more sales,” Cas replied. 

 

“You’re doing a presentation on how to interest your target market but say you don’t get people?” Dean responded. 

 

“Well, I don’t get people on an individual basis, but I understand culture and groups and what makes them tick. Just actual people and emotions are...not my area of expertise,” Castiel explained. “Don’t you have a football game to be watching?” 

 

“I need a break,” Dean said. “I’m not really a football person either. It’s very noisy and crowded and I need some peace and quiet.” 

 

“You’re not a football fan?” Cas asked. “But you hosted this.” 

 

“My brother did. But he lives in a college dorm yet, so he forced me to let him use my house for it,” Dean replied. 

 

“Sounds familiar,” Cas retorted. “My brother forced me to come.” 

 

“Who’s your brother?” Dean asked. 

 

“The idiot,” Cas stated. 

 

“You’re gonna have to be more specific,” Dean mused. 

 

“Red hair. Red face. Red everything,” Cas said. 

 

“Okay, so the idiot,” Dean nodded. 

 

Cas laughed and looked down as his keyboard. 

 

“You want anything? We got a lot of food, all kinds of drinks?” Dean offered.

 

“I’m okay. I have a bottle of water in my bag.” 

 

“You’re at a party with free everything for the taking. I’m gonna go get you something,” Dean stated. 

 

“Really, I don’t need anything,” Cas sighed. 

 

“I’m being courteous,” Dean said. “Deal with it.” 

 

Dean hopped up off the bed and left the room.

 

After a few minutes, he returned with two large plates piled with food. 

 

“You didn’t have to,” Cas groaned, looking back up from his laptop. 

 

Dean kicked the door shut with his foot and set them down on the bed. “Which one do you want? This one’s got more meats and cheeses and some potato salad, more healthy shit.” 

 

Cas looked at them for a moment. “What’s the other?” 

 

“Cake, brownie, some chips, and a small slice of pie,” Dean said. 

 

Cas silently grabbed the plate with goodies on it and moved his laptop off his lap and put the plate in its spot. 

 

“Well, I didn’t expect that,” Dean said, taking the plate of healthier stuff. “This ham is very good though.” 

 

“What makes you think that I’d want a bunch of bland food?” Cas asked. 

 

“Well, you seem like a very responsible person who has their life together, and I would assume you’d choose to make good dietary decisions,” Dean replied. 

 

“Mhm…” Cas muttered. “Well fuck that, cake tastes better than assorted cheeses.” 

 

Dean snorted loudly and stole a chip off of Cas’s plate. 

 

“Just because I’m a good employee doesn’t mean I’m a good anything else,” Cas said. 

 

“I’m sure you’re good at lots of things,” Dean stated. 

 

“Let’s see. I have no friends, no partner, no kids, no pets, just a job. So, I think it’s a pretty logical claim that I’m only a good employee,” Cas replied. 

 

“But do you have no friends, no partner, no kids, and no pets because everyone hates you or because you don’t try?” Dean asked. “Because, you seem normal enough to me.” 

 

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I prefer to focus on what’s important - my career and my financial future,” Cas replied. 

 

“And you can’t do both? Because I know a lot of people who do both,” Dean replied. 

 

“Well as long as you want to ask invasive and borderline rude questions, why don’t you ask my dick size, too?” Cas asked. 

 

“Sorry,” Dean chuckled. “Maybe you are a little weird. Speaking of friends and family, I’m gonna go socialize a little more. Make some people happy.” 

 

“Alright. You don’t mind me in here right? I can go somewhere else if you don’t want me you know alone in your room? I just didn’t prefer the closet and didn’t think you'd want me to hog the bathroom all day,” Cas replied. 

 

“Just don’t steal anything,” Dean stated with a smile as he got off the bed, plate of food in hand. “But, you’re fine in here.” 

 

“I won’t steal anything. I’m not criminally inclined,” Cas replied. 

 

“If only that could be said about everyone I let in my bedroom,” Dean muttered. 

 

“What?” Cas scoffed, staring blankly at him. 

 

“I dated this guy once and he ended up being a total klepto. For months I had all this little stuff going missing so I set up a camera and then found out it was him,” Dean said. 

 

“I won’t do that. Promise,” Cas replied. 

 

“Okay.” Dean gave him a smile as he backed out of the room. 

 

After a minute though, he came back in and threw a can on the bed. “Brought you a beer.” 

 

“I didn’t ask for one,” Cas stated. 

 

“I know. Still brought you one,” Dean replied. “I’ll come check on you in a bit.” 

 

“I don’t need checking in on. I’m not a small child,” Cas argued, cautiously popping the tab on the can. 

 

“I don’t mean like that. Just shut up and eat your junk food,” Dean drawled. 

 

After he was done eating, Cas continued working on his presentation, debating on the perfect way to word this. Everyone would be listening to him, not reading his presentation bullet points, but everything needed to be  _ exact _ . 

 

“God this is good,” he muttered to himself, looking down at the can. “What brand even is this?” 

 

He held the can up at eye level and made a pensive hum before holding it in between his legs and going back to typing. 

* * *

Some time later, Cas realized that that beer was one of the most tasty things he’s ever had and needed another like it was water. He half-closed his laptop lid and set it aside, carrying the empty can with him out into the kitchen area. Someone was already in the fridge, but he stood behind them anyways, craning to see if there were any more cans of this particular brand in there.

 

Cas saw the box but couldn’t see if there were anymore in there yet. He leant a little more forward but crashed into the guy in front of him sending the man falling headfirst into the drink shelf, and in Cas’s flailing to get back up, he grabbed onto the refrigerator door and slammed it shut on his back and hip. The man cried out in pain and Cas awkwardly backed off, holding his empty can and standing up against the counter. 

 

“Jesus, what the fuck?” 

 

“Oh no,” Cas hissed. 

 

“Awkward laptop guy?” Dean groaned, pulling himself out of the drinks and turning around. “It is you.” 

 

“Sorry,” Cas whispered. 

 

“Jesus,” Dean winched, standing up straight and rubbing his back.    
  


“I just wanted another beer,” Cas said quietly, holding up the empty can. 

 

“I think I need one now,” Dean retorted turning back around and taking two cans out. “Last two. You want both?” 

 

“No, you can keep the other,” Cas muttered. “You deserve it.” 

 

Cas set the empty can on the counter behind him and Dean threw him the cold one from the fridge. 

 

“Now you said you weren’t criminally inclined, but that felt a lot like assault and battery to me,” Dean stated. 

 

Cas groaned and held his hands to his face. “I didn’t mean to.” 

 

“I know. I’m giving you a hard time.” Dean smiled and patted him on the shoulder. 

 

“Wait,” Cas breathed cocking his head to the side slightly. “You’re gay? You don’t seem gay.” 

 

Dean stared at him silently. “What?” 

 

“You said your boyfriend was a kleptomaniac,” Cas stated. 

 

“I’m not gay,” Dean laughed. “It was complicated.” 

 

“Oh. Straight and dating a male kleptomaniac. I don’t wish I had your life,” Cas said. 

 

“You sound disappointed,” Dean replied. 

 

“What?” Cas scoffed. “No! No, no. I’m–no.” 

 

Dean laughed at him as he popped the tab on his can and took a drink. “Why do you want to know then?” 

 

“I, just, you mentioned it,” Cas stated. “I don’t know many gay people. And you didn’t seem like you’d be one.” 

 

“You keep saying that,” Dean chuckled. “But I mean, what do you expect? Do I have to speak with a valley girl accent, wear pink, and have glitter eyeshadow to seem gay?” 

 

“That’s not what I meant,” Cas drawled. “You just seem so comfortable for a gay guy among a bunch of straights, but you’re apparently not gay so that would explain it.” 

 

“Is that why you don’t like people? Because they’re straight and intimidating?” Dean asked. 

 

“No! No, I’m straight!” Cas protested, Dean giggling at him. “How is this funny?” 

 

“Because you’re a bad liar.” Dean smiled, and looked at him dubiously as he raised the can to his lips again. 

 

“Well you’re a bad – lie detector,” Cas argued, drinking a large portion of the beer nervously. 

 

“That’s a terrible come back,” Dean said, standing in front of him.

 

“I told you people aren’t my area of expertise,” Cas grumbled. 

 

Cheers erupted from the living room and the two of them looked over. 

 

“See how involved they are in that game?” Dean asked, sliding his leg in between Cas’s. “No one would notice we’re gone.” 

 

“Oh boy,” Cas whimpered, looking up at the cieling. 

 

“What?” Dean frowned in concern at him. 

 

“I can’t,” Cas stated, sliding out from him. “I’m sorry, I just. Do you know long it’s been since I had sex with somebody? When you’re in the closet and live with your family it’s quite difficult.”

 

“Do you know how long it’s been since I had an attractive gay man literally appear in my bed?” Dean countered. 

 

“Not as long as me. Trust me. I’m probably dusty,” Cas groaned. 

 

“I don’t think you’re dusty,” Dean laughed, backing off from him. “If you change your mind, I’ll be around. Same goes if you need anything.” 

 

Cas smiled awkwardly and walked backwards, crashing into a wall and stumbling and turning around to run back to the bedroom. 

 

Cas drank the rest of his beer once he got in the room and shut the door, tossing the can on the floor and getting on the bed. He laid down and stared at the ceiling and then made a loud whining sound. 

* * *

The next thing Cas knew, he was blinking his eyes open and felt extremely fatigued.

 

“Rise and shine,” Dean sang, gently shaking him awake. 

 

“Hm?” 

 

“Half-time’s about to start. Your brother spilt a bunch of salsa on me so I’ve gotta change and I wanted to make sure you were just sleeping and didn’t like have an aneurism on my bed or anything,” Dean mused, standing up off the bed and pulling his shirt over his head. 

 

“When you die, all the muscles in your body relax so I would have peed myself if I had an aneurism,” Cas explained. 

 

“That’s...kind of disturbing. I’m glad you did not have an aneurism though.” Dean smiled as he turned to open a closet. 

 

“Speaking of peeing myself, I think I’ll go use the bathroom and give you back your bedroom to change,” Cas said. 

 

“Good plan,” Dean replied, pulling a similar shirt that matched his stain one out and sliding it off the hanger. 

 

Cas went down the hallway a few feet and went to the bathroom. He turned the handle, but it was locked, so he waited a second. After the sink turned off, Gabriel opened the door and grinned. 

 

“Where’ve you been hiding out this entire time, baby brother?” Gabriel asked. 

 

“I’ve been working. Dean’s been very kind in letting me use his bedroom to work so I can focus,” Cas replied, pushing past him. 

 

“Yeah, he’s a great guy, isn’t he? His girlfriend’s a lucky woman, that’s for sure,” Gabriel said, grabbing his arm and pulling him back out of the bathroom. “But come on! Lady Gaga’s about to come on and I know how much you love her.” 

 

“Gabriel!” Cas protested trying to pull back towards the bathroom, but Gabriel’s grip was firm and he got dragged into the living room. 

 

“Squeeze in,” Gabriel said, sitting down back in his spot but scooting over so Cas could fit. 

 

Cas made a noise of irritation as the crowd on TV began cheering. 

 

Lady Gaga started with her rendition of God Bless America, then slid into ‘Poker Face’, though Cas wasn’t a fan of her older pop hits and preferred her Artpop and Joanne album. He enjoyed the performance, but found it hard to focus, shifting his hands in between his thighs uncomfortably. 

 

“God, Cas,” Gabriel groaned. “Sit still, would you?” 

 

“Sorry,” Cas grumbled, not wanting to admit how bad he actually needed to go. He hated drawing attention to himself like that. 

 

Cas forced himself to sit still, taking his hands out from his legs and just holding them in his lap instead. 

 

“Didn’t you used to love this song?” Gabriel laughed as Lady Gaga began singing the intro for Cellphone. “You wrapped yourself up in caution tape and dressed as Lady Gaga for that Halloween party.” 

 

“I remember, but I’d rather not have to remember,” Cas said. “Not my best days.” 

 

“None of your days are good, but that’s fun to laugh at for me,” Gabriel snickered, reaching onto the table and popping some chips into his mouth. 

 

“I hate you so much,” Cas groaned, willing himself to get up off the couch. 

 

“Don’t you want to watch her?” Gabriel asked, pulling him back down. 

 

“I don’t care. I can watch it on YouTube tomorrow. I have work to do!” Cas protested. 

 

“Come on,” Gabriel sighed. “It’s five more minutes. Besides, it’ll do you good to take a short break and clear your head.” 

 

“I just took a break, I just didn’t come see you during it,” Cas said. 

 

“Another break won’t hurt. Now shut up and watch,” Gabriel ordered shoving him to sit against the back of the couch by putting his hand in his stomach. Castiel yelped loudly and everyone looked at him. 

 

“You’re too rough,” Cas whispered. 

 

“Since when are you this fragile? Are we even brothers anymore?” Gabriel scoffed, bumping him with his shoulder. 

 

As Lady Gaga began her Bad Romance performance, Cas couldn’t take it anymore, and jumped up from the couch, all but running out of the room. 

 

“Hey!” Gabriel called after him, rolling his eyes and sighing, deciding not to go after him. 

 

Cas got to the bathroom door and jumped the gun as he relaxed a little, knowing he was finally going to be able to use the bathroom. He grabbed the handle and pushed it, but it didn’t budge. It was locked. 

 

“Fuck!” he yelled, knocking rapidly on the door. 

 

“Whoa, what’s going on?” Dean called from inside. 

 

Cas whined with one hand shoved in between his legs as he felt himself begin to lose it. 

 

“Hold on!” Dean groaned from the other side. Cas whined in desperation as his hand began to feel the fabric of his jeans getting wet. 

 

His breathing got quicker as he started crying, hitting the door again. He heard the toilet flush on the other side and Dean immediately swung the door open. 

 

“What the f-oh no.” Dean saw Cas’s pants and puddle he was standing in and shoved him into the bathroom to finish up.

 

Dean shut the door behind him and sighed. He carefully stepped over the puddle and went into his bedroom. He set a pair of his jeans and a small belt beside the bathroom door and then went to get the mop. 

 

When he returned with the mop, the door was locked and the jeans were gone, so he just started cleaning the bulk of it up, wringing it into an empty bucket. 

 

Cas opened the door cautiously and peeked out, Dean grabbed the door and pushed it open though. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Cas sobbed, hiding his face in his hands. 

 

“It’s fine. Not a good party until someone’s peed themselves,” Dean retorted. “But hey, I’m glad you’re alive and not dead.” 

 

Cas laughed a little and Dean put his hands on his shoulders.    
  


“Where’s your clothes? I’ll go put them on a quick rinse and dry cycle so you can get out of here in your own clothes again?” Dean offered. 

 

“No, you don’t have to. It’s not necessary,” Cas whispered. 

 

“Well, I’ve had enough of my men stealing shit out of my house, so I’d really like to get my jeans back before you leave,” Dean stated, spying his pants sitting on the lid of the toilet. “Come on,” 

 

Cas let Dean move him out of the way and he reached in and grabbed them, giving them a quick wring over the sink so they wouldn’t drip. 

 

“Why don’t you go sit on the bed and calm down?” Dean said. “I’ll go get these started in the wash.” 

 

“Okay,” Cas sighed in defeat and shamefully walked into the bedroom, tears still streaming down his face. 

 

Dean got his clothes into the wash and then put the mop and bucket back in the kitchen to clean and deal with later. 

 

Cas sat on the bed and put his laptop to the side. 

 

“Here,” Dean came back in the room and shut the door, taking Cas’s water out of his bag and opening it. 

 

“The last thing I want to do right now is drink something,” Cas grumbled.

  
“Come on,” Dean urged him, pushing it up towards his mouth. 

 

Cas gave in and let him force-feed him some of the water for a few seconds. Dean put the water back down and wiped the tears off of Cas’s face. 

 

“Sometimes, shit happens,” Dean stated. “But hey, I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.” 

 

Cas looked at him teary-eyed before starting to cry again. Dean groaned and rolled his eyes, taking him in his arms and hugging him. 

 

“Listen, I don’t know you. I don’t even know your name actually–” Dean mused “–but you seem like a pretty good guy and I like you. And hey, it’s not your fault that you’re a massive Lady Gaga fan.” 

 

“Oh God, you heard that?” Cas groaned, pulling away from him. 

 

“Your brother’s a loud talker,” Dean stated. “How does anyone think you’re straight? Lady Gaga? Really?” 

 

“I thought you were against stereotypes?” Cas asked. 

 

“I said you shouldn’t assume someone’s sexuality based on a stereotype, but it’s not my fault if you fit a stereotype,” Dean said. 

 

“I don’t fit any other gay stereotype. I just like Lady Gaga,” Cas argued. 

 

“And appreciate fine interior decorating,” Dean teased.

 

“Hey, that was a compliment I gave you,” Cas grumbled. “Don’t use that against me,” 

 

“This is my house I’ll do whatever I damn well please,” Dean replied. 

 

Cas sniffed and then wiped his nose with his hand. 

 

“Feeling better?” Dean asked, a playful intonation in his voice. 

 

Cas looked away. 

 

“Come on…” Dean drawled, taking his face in his face and forcing his cheeks into a smile. “Say cheese.” 

 

“I’m not going to say cheese,” Cas said, his words getting slurred with the way Dean was holding him. 

 

Dean did a corny smile at him and he laughed a little. 

 

“There we go!” Dean cheered. 

 

“You don’t have to do this for me,” Cas stated. “I’m a grown man.” 

 

“A grown man who is apparently a much bigger train wreck that I first imagined,” Dean added. “Would you feel better if I fucked you?” 

 

“You still would?” Cas scoffed. 

 

“Of course I still would!” Dean laughed. “I’m pretty sure it’s meant to be that we both just randomly ended up in my bed together.” 

 

“I don’t think it’s meant to be,” Cas stated. 

 

“Well, I’m an optimist,” Dean said. 

 

“Wait? You’re an eye-doctor?” Cas asked. 

 

“No, no, dude. What the hell?” Dean scoffed. “That’s an opthamologist.” 

 

“Shit, right.” Cas replied. “Now I really look like an idiot,” 

 

“Kinda,” Dean whispered. 

 

“I don’t need your pity fuck though,” Cas stated. 

 

“Who said it’s a pity fuck?” Dean asked. 

 

“You said you’d fuck me to make me feel better,” Cas said. “That’s the definition of a pity fuck.” 

 

“No it’s not. Pity-fucking would be if I fucked you for the sole reason that I felt bad for you,” Dean explained. “But why would I feel bad for you? You peed on my hardwood flooring! You should be pity-fucking  _ me _ !” 

 

Cas smiled at him and looked off to the door. “Sorry about that.” 

 

“Is that your way of saying you changed your mind? That you’re gonna do more in my bed than just cry?” Dean asked, leaning into him and putting their faces up close. 

 

“We can’t,” Cas whispered. “If you haven’t forgotten, you have company.” 

 

“Yeah, a bunch of weird straight dudes yelling at a TV aren’t even going to realize that we’re missing,” Dean stated. “I told you that already.” 

 

“Are you sure?” Cas asked. 

 

“I mean, technically your brother might come looking for you, but doesn’t the chance of getting caught make it that much more enticing?” Dean replied. 

 

“Hm….” Cas stared at him. “Absolutely fucking not.” 

 

Dean pouted. 

 

“Sorry if I don’t get off on the idea of getting caught and then having both of us outed to our families,” Cas retorted. “If you want to get anywhere near me, you’re locking that door.” 

 

“Okay, okay,” Dean groaned. “Buzzkill.” 

 

“You’re lucky I’m agreeing to this at all,” Cas said. “I can’t believe that I’m agreeing to this.” 

 

“You’re acting like you’re going to just ‘let me’ and you’ll grin and bear it the whole time,” Dean retorted. “You are just as much a horny whore as I am.” 

 

“I am not!” Cas protested. 

 

“You want to bet?” Dean teased, moving Cas’s laptop fully off the bed and taking his shirt off. 

 

“There’s enough betting going on this evening, I presume,” Cas replied. 

 

“Be right back,” Dean said, opening a door near his closet leading to a second bathroom. 

 

Cas waited for him, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. 

 

“Catch!” Dean yelled, throwing some items across the room. 

 

Cas shrieked not knowing what they were and rolled off the bed. Dean burst out laughing at him. 

 

“You idiot!” Dean cackled. 

 

Cas groaned in pain as he sat up, his head popping up over the edge of the bed. “Now we’re even for the fridge thing.” 

 

“You just got scared by a condom and a bottle of lube,” Dean said. 

 

“Condom?” Cas stared at him wide-eyed. “We’re–you want to–what?” 

 

“What? Did I misjudge? Are you not a bottom?” Dean asked. 

 

“I don’t know what I am,” Cas groaned. “I haven’t had sex with a guy for like five years.” 

 

“Okay. If you don’t want to, we don’t have to,” Dean replied, picking them up off the bed. 

 

“No, no, I want to. I just–” Cas cut himself off and sighed. 

 

“You’re nervous,” Dean stated. 

 

“No, I’m just–” Cas looked at him and paused. “–yes.” 

 

“Hey, I’m a little rusty with the guys too,” Dean said. “We’ll go slow and work it out as we go along.” 

 

“If you would have told me when I woke up this morning that today was going to end with me having sex with a stranger at a Superbowl party, I would have called you fucking crazy,” Cas muttered, getting back on the bed.

 

Dean set the condom and the bottle of lube back on the bed and then took Cas’s hands to help him up. Dean grabbed the hem of Cas’s shirt and pulled it up over his head and then ran his hands down his chest. 

 

“I would have shaved, but I wasn’t expecting this,” Cas muttered. 

 

“It’s alright,” Dean said. “I don’t prefer Ken dolls anyways.” 

 

Cas smiled timidly at him and leaned in a little. Dean brought his hands back up to Cas’s face and began kissing him. Cas slowly let his hands find their way to Dean’s arms and kiss him back. 

 

“It’s also been a while since I kissed someone,” Cas stated. 

 

“I can’t tell,” Dean replied, thumbing Cas’s bottom lip. 

 

“I forgot how nice it felt,” Cas replied.

 

“Imagine how nice the rest of it feels,” Dean purred, moving his hands down to Cas’s hips and pushing him back to sit down on the bed. Dean began slowly undoing the belt, kissing Cas’s stomach and then inching his way up until he was back to kissing him on the mouth again. 

 

“God dammit!” Dean hissed finally pulling up and looking down at what he was doing. “I used to be so smooth! I could undo a guy’s pants without ever needing to look and now it feels like rocket science.” 

 

Cas chuckled at him as he pulled the belt out in annoyance and began shimmying the jeans down. 

 

Dean reached for his own waist but Cas leaned forward and grabbed his hands. “Stop.” 

 

“Why?” Dean asked. 

 

“I want to,” Cas said, pushing his hands away and starting to undo Dean’s pants. He loosened the belt and undid the zipper and they fell down to his knees.

 

Dean stepped out of them and Cas moved back on the bed so Dean could climb on top of him. Dean quickly went back to kissing Cas, running his fingers down Cas’s arms and then bringing them to his stomach, slowly making their way down. 

 

“Stop, stop,” Cas hissed, closing his eyes and turning his head. 

 

“What?” Dean asked. 

 

Cas looked back up at him and sighed. “I just, I need a second. That’s all. I’ve never just slept with a stranger before.” 

 

“I’m sure I’m not as scary as some ex’s you have,” Dean replied. 

 

“You’re not,” Cas said. “I’m just old and need to process for a minute.” 

 

“You’re not old, you idiot,” Dean drawled. “You’re like 30.” 

 

“Twenty-six, but thanks for aging me,” Cas retorted. “How old are  _ you _ ?” 

 

“Thirty-three,” Dean stated. 

 

“God!” Cas exclaimed. “You’re ancient!” 

 

“Hey, now…” Dean teased. 

 

“Don’t worry. I like guys that are older than me. I find it moderately hot,” Cas replied. 

 

“Just moderately?” Dean asked. “That’s not a very sexy word to hear.” 

 

“I didn’t know you wanted to hear sexy words,” Cas said. 

 

“ _ I moderately want your dick in my ass  _ just doesn’t have the same ring to it.” Dean stated. 

 

“Is that you want me to say?” Cas asked. “That I want your dick in my ass? Because I don’t even know if I want your dick in my ass.” 

 

“Have you processed yet? Are you done with your moment?”

 

Cas nodded and smiled at him. 

 

“Good,” Dean growled, going back down and kissing him. 

 

“I think I’m remembering how this is supposed to go now,” Cas said, rolling over and pushing Dean onto his back. 

 

“Oh,” Dean gasped, staring up at him. 

 

Cas smiled and leaned down to kiss him, grinding his hips up against Dean’s. “I think I got the hang of this now. I got this.” 

 

“You sure do,” Dean replied, moaning through his speech. 

 

Cas swelled with pride inside and toyed his fingers at the waistband of Dean’s boxers. “Can I?” 

 

“Go ahead.” Dean grinned at him. 

 

Cas pushed the waistband down and grabbed his cock, rubbing his hand all over at first and then sighing. “Fuck, it feels good to have a dick in my hand that isn’t mine.” 

 

Dean laughed at him and then moaned as he began working him up. “Well, you’re sure good at this.” 

 

“I got a lot of practice on myself over the past five years. Or has it been six?” Cas muttered. “I don’t remember.” 

 

“You poor thing,” Dean said. “Not that I’m much different though.” 

 

Cas sat up on him and pulled his boxers all the way down to his knees and then grabbed the condom and ripped it open. Dean stared at him a little confused, but let him roll the condom onto him. 

 

“So you’ve decided, you  _ do  _ want my dick in your ass?” Dean asked. 

 

“I think so.” Cas nodded. “I know I used to like it. I probably still do.” 

 

“Yeah but, I mean. Are you ready?” Dean frowned in concern as Cas poured lube into his hands and put a generous amount all over Dean’s cock, rubbing it around and getting it everywhere. 

 

“I am now.” Cas nodded again at him, getting up to take his underwear off and tossing them off the foot of the bed. 

 

“What do you mean by ready because…” Dean laughed awkwardly and Cas climbed back on top of him. 

 

“What?” Cas asked. “I’m ready!” 

 

“Alright. I just didn’t assume you would be,” Dean said. 

 

Cas pushed himself down onto Dean but then groaned and threw himself off. “Oh God, you meant that ready didn’t you?” 

 

“Yeah.” Dean nodded and cringed at him. “You okay there.” 

 

“Yes,” Cas moaned. “I don’t got this though.” 

 

Dean snickered at him. “Let me take the wheel this time.” 

 

“That might be for the best.” Cas sighed. 

 

“Come on. Move up,” Dean instructed gesturing towards the headboard. 

 

Cas scooted himself further up on the bed and Dean grabbed a pillow. 

 

“Lift your hips,” Dean said. Cas did as told and Dean slid the pillow underneath him to prop his lower half up some. “There we go.” 

 

“No one ever did this to me,” Cas muttered. 

 

“Just go with it,” Dean replied, moving up towards him so he was practically on top of him. “Just relax and this’ll go smoothly.” 

 

Cas nodded and looked up at him and smiled before Dean pulled back away to grab the lube wherever it rolled. He located it and put some in the palm of one of his hands and then scooped it with two fingers of his other hand. 

 

“You good?” Dean asked. 

 

“Yeah,” Cas answered. 

 

“Awesome,” Dean said, giving him a reassuring wink. Dean began sliding his two fingers inside of Cas, slowly pushing them in. “You didn’t actually hurt anything right?” 

 

“No. I just think I pulled a muscle I didn’t know I had,” Cas responded. 

 

“Oh no.” Dean groaned, starting to kiss him again. “Does that feel good?” 

 

Dean pushed his fingers in all the way and wiggled them around a little. 

 

“Yeah,” Cas breathed, moaning into his mouth. 

 

“See, gotta just take your time and do things right,” Dean said, caressing Cas’s face with his free hand, but unintentionally getting lube all over his face. “Fuck.” 

 

“It’s okay,” Cas said. “God, I didn’t realize how much I missed being with someone until now.” 

 

“Sometimes you don’t know what you’re missing until it’s right in front of you,” Dean replied. “You good? Ready for a third finger?” 

 

“Mhm, I think so,” Cas hummed. “So the pillow?” 

 

“Just makes it easier to get to your ass,” Dean replied. “Not something some horny teenagers would care to think about I’m sure.” 

 

“You know not every young person is inexperienced and sex-obsessed,” Cas stated. 

 

“I know,” Dean said. “I’m just giving you a hard time.” 

 

“I’d rather you give me other things that are hard,” Cas purred. 

 

“See, that’s what I like to hear.” Dean smiled as he added his third finger and began gently working Cas open so he wouldn’t strain himself anymore. 

 

“I can’t believe I just said that,” Cas breathed.

 

“I can,” Dean retorted. 

 

“I’m ready this time though,” Cas stated. “I can tell.” 

 

“If you insist,” Dean drawled, taking his fingers out and pouring some more lube onto himself since what Cas had put on him rubbed off for the most part. Dean grabbed Cas by the ankles and pushed his legs up so he could see more clearly and he began easing himself inside. 

 

“All good?” Dean asked. 

 

“Aces,” Cas replied, smiling deliriously at the ceiling. “Why did I let my brother stop me from this for all this time? This is so good and we’re not even doing anything yet.” 

 

“I’m flattered,” Dean purred, going in a little more. 

 

“I’m not going to break. You can go a little faster than that, Dean,” Cas stated. 

 

“Alright, alright,” Dean sighed, steadily pushing in until he was as far in as he could go. “Happy? Feel good?” 

 

“Mhm.” Cas nodded repeatedly at him. 

 

Dean smiled at him and moved back up so he could reach to kiss him. Cas let his legs relax and fall over Dean’s back as Dean went back to kissing him. 

 

Dean began moving, pulling his hips back and forth, gradually picking up the pace. 

 

“Your ass is so much better than my hand, fuck.” He moaned. 

 

“This doesn’t feel like I thought it would,” Cas stated. 

 

“What?” Dean scoffed. 

 

“I don’t know. It’s just not great. Maybe I’m not a bottom after all…” Cas muttered. 

 

“No, no, I think you’re a bottom,” Dean said. “I’m just doing something wrong. I’m rusty at this.” 

 

“So am I,” Cas replied. 

 

“Hold on, let me move around here,” Dean looked around and repositioned himself a little. “Hand me another pillow.” 

 

Cas reached over and grabbed the second pillow from that side of the bed and then arched his back so Dean could get the second one under there. 

 

“Try this again,” Dean sighed, leaning back overtop of him and kissing him some more. Dean began moving against him, resuming to his in and out motions. 

 

He smiled when he realized he’d got Cas moaning. “Doing better now?” 

 

“Better, but, still not ideal,” Cas replied. 

 

“Still not ideal?” Dean scoffed. “What do you want?” 

 

“I don’t know,” Cas replied. 

 

“You don’t know,” Dean laughed. “You don’t know.” 

 

Cas blinked at him.

 

“Just tell me when something feels good, okay?” Dean groaned. 

 

“Okay,” Cas replied. 

 

Dean shifted a little and continued his movements, thrusting back and forth against him. 

 

“Oh! Oh! Right there!” Cas moaned, writhing beneath him. 

 

“What? Her-” 

 

“YES!” Cas whined. 

 

“Here?” Dean moved forward some. 

 

“YESYESYEYSEYESYEYESYESFUCK” Cas sputtered. 

 

“Oh, okay then!” Dean cheered, with a laugh. “Here we go!” 

 

“You keep moving away from it though!” Cas argued. 

 

“How do I not move away from it without stopping from moving all together?” Dean asked. 

 

“I don’t know. Maybe less ramming into me?” Cas asked. 

 

“I’m not ramming into you,” Dean groaned. 

 

“Just come on. Just try something different, but right there,” Cas said. 

 

Dean tried changing from his back and forth movements into more rolling movements, so he could remain in just the area Cas was saying felt so great. 

 

“How about that?” Dean asked. 

 

“Perfect,” Cas squeaked. “Keep going. Keep going. Does this work for you?” 

 

“Feels great to me either way,” Dean replied. “I think we found a winner here,” 

 

Cas nodded eagerly and Dean picked up the pace, making them both moan in pleasure. 

 

“This is the sex I remember now,” Cas panted, the two of them ignoring the sounds of outcry and booing from the other room. 

 

Cas’s heels hit against Dean’s back as they rocked against the bed, moaning into each other’s mouths. 

 

“Why is sex so good?” Cas asked. 

 

“Because it’s sex,” Dean replied. 

 

“Yeah but this is sinful,” Cas said. 

 

“Well, to some religions maybe,” Dean mused. 

 

“Why do I have to live with my brother? Why am I stuck in the closet? Why can’t I just live somewhere where I am free to get dick any day I want?” Cas continued. 

 

“Come live with me,” Dean replied. 

 

“What?” Cas scoffed. 

 

“What?” Dean repeated. “That’s a terrible thing to ask someone you just met. What’s wrong with me?

 

“I don’t know, but I will admit I would totally move here to escape my brother.” Cas said. “How much is rent?” 

 

“What?” Dean laughed. 

 

“How much is rent?” 

 

“I don’t know,” Dean replied. 

 

“Figure it out,” Cas ordered. “Because I want out.” 

 

“Why don’t you just live on your o-OH-wn?” Dean asked. 

 

“Because I can’t,” Cas said. “It’s just a long story.” 

 

“Alright. Give me a minute,” Dean said. 

 

“I don’t–uh–think I have a minute,” Cas whispered. 

 

“Oh?” Dean looked at him and paused for a moment. “ _ Oh _ .”

 

Dean reached between them and began moving his hand on Cas’s cock, working him up. Cas moaned up into him, kissing him desperately. 

 

Dean moved his hips a little faster just to get them both  _ there  _ a little faster. He kept jacking Cas off, letting Cas’s shaky and rather high-pitched moans be the only thing he focused on. He wanted to draw them all from him and know that he made this odd stranger happy just for one night, because it felt nice to not be alone in his pleasure for once. 

 

“D-dean!” Cas moaned, gasping and tilting his head back and he came, white spilling out the head of his cock and dripping onto his stomach. 

 

“Five hundred,” Dean stated. 

 

“Five hundred what?” Cas asked. 

 

“That’s how much I’ll take for you to come live with me,” Dean said. 

 

“That’s not rent. That’s a party favor!” Cas protested. 

 

“I don’t need help with the rent. I pay my bills fine,” Dean replied. 

 

“But that’s not a fair amount. I’ll give you eight,” Cas argued. 

 

“Fine.” Dean nodded and sat up, extending his hand. 

 

Cas reached up and grabbed it. “Hi, roomie.” 

 

“Hi,” Dean panted. 

 

“But, first, I’ll give you a blowjob,” Cas stated, pushing Dean off him and then shoving him onto his back. 

 

“That was just in your ass though,” Dean said. 

 

“You put it in there,” Cas scoffed, taking the condom off and setting it in Dean’s hand. “Now shut up and let me suck your dick.” 

 

“Okay,” Dean replied. “How foolish of me to interrupt.” 

 

Cas sat back on his ankles and bent forward, taking Dean into his mouth. He just went up and down slowly, getting Dean’s dick wet with spit and making gagging and slurping sounds. 

 

“Dude. You gotta stop,” Dean finally said. 

 

“What? Why?” Cas asked. 

 

“Have you  _ ever  _ given a blowjob?” Dean asked. 

 

“No,” Cas whispered. “Is it that obvious?” 

 

“Yeah,” Dean laughed. “You’re over here sucking my dick but sounding like The Noo Noo.” 

 

“The  _ what _ ?” 

 

“Oh God. Come on, The Noo Noo! That vacuum from the Teletubbies,” Dean said. 

 

“Oh,” Cas replied. “I never watched it.” 

 

“Well trust me, the Noo Noo on your dick is not a nice experience to imagine,” Dean snickered. “And drooling and choking is not really that hot either.” 

 

“It is in porn,” Cas stated. 

 

“This is not porn. This is messy stupid dumb sex,” Dean laughed. “So why don’t you stop drooling all over me and we just use our hands since that seems to be the only thing we can do right?” 

 

“Oh God,” Cas groaned. “This is embarrassing.” 

 

“Hey, on the bright side, if we’re going to be roommates, we’ll have all the time in the world to teach each other the good shit though,” Dean mused. 

 

“True,” Cas sighed, sitting up and pulling his legs out from under him. “I can give you a handjob in the meantime though.” 

 

“Sounds good to me,” Dean said. “But one question.” 

 

“What?” Cas replied. 

 

“What the fuck is your name?” Dean yelled. “You haven’t told me this entire time.” 

 

“Castiel,” he stated. 

 

“Thank you,” Dean drawled. “It’s nice to meet you, Castiel.” 

* * *

“Hey, you see my brother?” Gabriel asked, approaching Dean.

 

“He’s in my bedroom, but he’s taking a nap,” Dean said. 

 

“A nap?” Gabriel scoffed. 

 

Dean nodded. “He was working on his presentation for work but was laying down while doing it and I found him passed out, so I just put him to bed.” 

 

“Well, I’m gonna go wake him up for you,” Gabriel replied. 

 

“Just go home.” 

 

“What?” Gabriel looked at him dubiously. 

 

“I don’t mind him here. He doesn’t snore, doesn’t have restless leg syndrome, and he’s tired. He’s got a big day at work tomorrow. Let the guy sleep. I can drive him to work or home or wherever in the morning,” Dean said. 

 

“You sure?” Gabriel asked. “My brother is a giant pain in the ass,” 

 

“I think I’m a bigger pain in his, but I’d prefer not to interrupt his nap,” Dean chuckled. 

 

“Can I just go see him, make sure he’s okay?” 

 

“Sure, you know where the bedroom is,” Dean replied. 

 

Gabriel and him went down the short hallway to the bedroom and Gabriel opened the door a crack. Cas was indeed tucked under all the blankets sound asleep.

* * *

One Year Later

* * *

“Dean, Dean wake up,” Cas said quietly, shaking him awake.

 

“Hm?” Dean mumbled. “Hi, Cas.” 

 

“It’s our anniversary!” Cas cheered. 

 

“It is?” Dean slurred, waking himself up. 

 

“Yeah!” Cas exclaimed, a large smile on his face. “A year ago today, you threw a Super Bowl party and I met you there.”

 

“And then you peed on my floor,” Dean stated. 

 

“No, we don’t talk about that part,” Cas said. 

 

“Well if it didn’t happen, we might not have ended up together,” Dean replied. “Is that a risk you’re willing to take if you could go back in time and do it over?” 

 

Cas thought on it a moment before shaking his head. “Absolutely not.” 

 

“I can’t believe I asked you to move in with me,” Dean laughed. “What the hell was I thinking?” 

 

“I don’t know, and quite frankly, I don’t care,” Cas stated. “I’m still happy that I’m spending every night with you and not alone with my obnoxious brother in the next room.” 

 

“I mean, I also can’t believe no one knows we’re actually together,” Dean said. “I mean, there’s only one bed here. Do they assume we take turns on the couch?” 

 

“I don’t know, but for some reason everyone stays out of our business, so I can’t say I hate them thinking stupid things,” Cas replied. 

 

“Do you remember what you said to me last year?” Dean asked. 

 

“What part?” 

 

“You said you weren’t good at anything but your job. That you had no one. No friends, no pets, no lover, nothing.” Dean stated. “And now look at you. I’m your best friend. And your lover–” 

 

“Don’t say my pet,” Cas interjected. 

 

“No, of course not. That’s the dog.” Dean said. “I can’t believe I let you get a dog.” 

 

“Me neither,” Cas laughed.

 

“I’ll get you something tomorrow, okay?” Dean replied. 

 

“You actually forgot?” Cas asked. 

 

“Of course I didn’t,” Dean scoffed, reaching over the edge of the bed. He pulled open a drawer and then turned back to Cas. 

 

“Is it another dog?” Cas gasped. 

 

“What? No! It’s not another dog,” Dean sighed. 

 

“Aw,” Cas whined. 

 

“Taking care of you and your dog is enough for me. Nothing else,” Dean stated. “Close your eyes, give me your hands,” 

 

Cas did as told, sticking his hands out towards Dean. He felt Dean place something in his hands and he wiggled slightly in excitement. “Can I look?” 

 

“Yeah, go ahead.” Dean said. 

 

Cas looked down at the box in his hands and frowned. “What are these?” 

 

“They’re rings. They’re special rings though,” Dean stated, pointing to the packaging. 

 

“Yes, I will marry you!” Cas exclaimed. 

 

“Shit,” Dean hissed. “That’s not what the rings are for, Cas.” 

 

“Uh oh,” Cas whispered. 

 

“Just because we moved in on the first date does not mean I want to rush in to every aspect of our relationship,” Dean said softly. “But they’re still special rings.” 

 

“Why?” Cas asked, slightly embarrassed.

 

“Well, when you’re wearing it, it lets you feel the other person’s heartbeat when you’re separated,” Dean explained. “So, you’re never really alone or apart. I thought you’d appreciate that idea with your issues.” 

 

“I do. I love it,” Cas replied, giving Dean a large smile. 

 

“Don’t I get a gift?” Dean asked. “Don’t I deserve it after what a great boyfriend I’ve been?” 

 

“I’m still trying to figure out what to get you actually,” Cas said. 

 

“Way to ruin the moment!” Dean laughed, settling back in bed next to him. “But I love you no matter how many moments you ruin.”


End file.
